Had a special request by a certain someone to post something on this. So here it is.
I was wrecking my brains finding the answer to this question when I decided that perhaps I should do it differently this time and pick the brains of whoever reads or happens to chance upon this post.
Boredom. I personally think it boils down to humans being difficult beings, never contented with what they have. So when life gets a tad too predictable (read: boring), these bored beings inevitably steer in a different direction that is somewhat more challenging and exciting. And that's where difficulties and complications arise.
Oblivion. It could be that a person is oblivious to the difficulties, impossibilities and dire consequences in attempting to do certain things. Fighting a lost cause. Flogging a dead horse. At the point when heeding a third party's advice might be wisest, understanding and listening to the advice seem the hardest thing to do.
Or perhaps it simply goes back to the saying that "the grass is always greener on the other side". Which goes back to the contentment bit.
Or maybe people just don't know what they want.
That's my 2 cents worth.
So WHY do we always want the things that make life difficult?
To the 'requestor', do give me your thoughts on it.
To the person who mentioned that you know why, please do share.
To everyone else, your insights will be much appreciated.
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8 comments:
we always want something else because we want changes. we think we can have a different (better) conclusion if we choose another path.
That is hope.
We think we will get a different results if we perservere and wait for the good to come out of the whole Bad situation. But sometimes that will never happen.
That is stupidity.
So hope or stupidity, you need to decide on the goals you are looking for. If it's not worth it, then its stupid. If it's worth it, then we must hope.
it's human nature, i guess. i see this often in relationships. we always want or made to want, partners who are so wrong for us that we try so hard to make them right... no prizes for guessing the outcome...
this morning, i got a call from a female friend to cancel our trip to KL with some friends. her reason - she felt she needed to stay behind with her current boyfriend whom she's having problems - they're semi-separated, trying getting to know each other all over again - after - hear this - 15 years together.
the cancellation is no biggie - albeit annoying - since she had a month to inform me ... but that's less disconcerting than her reason for cancellation.
you see, my friend has always had the upper hand in this relationship - both she and her boyfriend studied and worked in the US for eight years - and whilst there stayed together - but my friend did the unthinkable - she played on the side.. to his knowledge no less - god, that guy is a saint for having put with all that crap - but hey, you don't choose whom you love.
fast forward, a few years ago, guy moved back to singapore for family business reasons and girl was given ultimatum - either come back or we're through. girl made difficult decision to come back but still doesn't feel at home. fast forward to today and the complexion has altered - now girl wants commitment but boy isn't too sure because of their past baggage.
where at one time, she was the indifferent one, not feeling much jealousy even when he's out with the boys to the KTVs, now she wants him to give her a real chance at proving she's worth his trust and is now no longer comfortable at all even with the idea of him going out with other women, even if say, to even the score or just for him to be sure, no?
all this emotional tug-of-war is just so exhausting, yes? couldn't we just be contented with what's on the table, why do we have to summarily shove aside what's served on the platter even though what's on it could in fact be good for the systems. why do we always have to consume stuff that once ingested could damage our sense of well-being? is it just simply to push the boundaries of our tolerance limits or just to satify our foolish egos?
an older female friend once told me, if things are meant to happen, they will happen quite naturally, no need for much drama, the two people will gravitate towards each other and the circumstances surrouding it will click to facilitate the union. the moral of the story is if things are not meant to be, why push it? why make life so difficult, it's too short anyway to be wasted in tears, frustration and heartbreak. that's wisdom on a plate. eat our heart out guys.
I think all the reasons stated are correct, depending on each individuals situation at that point in time.
For me, I need change to feel alive..so..isn't it more a matter of how a situation is looked at? Rather than making life difficult, could it not be making life change for the better?
Your choice I suppose...
because we are human.
With all that said, it just shows that nothing is ever really certain, isn't it? What with the role reversals and getting to know each other AGAIN after FIFTEEN years?? Makes me wonder if we will ever know whether a person is so wrong or so right for us?
Like a friend once told me, difficult and trying as situations may be, what's important is for us to do what we need to, in order to allow ourselves to walk away from it with no regrets, knowing that we gave it our last best shot.
Why do we always want things that make life difficult? Because we're human, yes. And nobody ever said life was easy anyway right?
To put it simply, humans are never contented. You always want more, more and more.
And I agree with Nick Teo. In fact, I'll go one step further to add that sometimes, it is very clear that the something we want will not happen, yet we stubbornly fail to let it go. Then we delude ourselves into thinking that there is still hope.
Now that is stupid hope, or hopeful stupidity.
Point is, with some people, they need to get burnt before they let go. They need to get kicked out, shoved around and abused before they REALLY know that it's not gonna happen, following which they will sob, cry and then let go.
For others, they are perhaps more rationale, and they assess the situation, calculate their odds, take a decision and move on. And maybe they will always have that lingering thought of 'what if', but they know that in life, you never know everything, if not you can be God, and so they are contented if you view things in the big picture sense, and they live on.
It all boils down to one's character. It's not about 'life' being difficult or easy, that's just one part of this whole issue. Are you the type who holds on to something that you know probably won't work out, in fact, create chances for it to work out (subtly or otherwise), thus setting yourself up for more hurt? Or are you the type who will give up halfway, knowing that they MAY have been a chance (albeit very very slim) of that thing happening, but hey, life still goes on and we still survive?
It is very amazing when you see the inter-mingling of these opposite traits happen even in business settings. How one decides on affairs of the heart also affects one's thinking and logic in business affairs. Watch and observe. =)
To conclude, some people just need to get burnt before they learn. They need to touch that piping hot potato even if it means that they have to spend money on plasters after that.
why ..... there are different answers depending on the circumstances. Are you asking the question with regards to working life, relationships, career moves, holiday choices................
purples, how about doing one on:
Why do we always want things that we can no longer have?
why do we want things that we cannot have?
I recently learnt this phrase...
The biggest liberation is knowing we cannot have everything, and letting go when we should.
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