It's been 2 months already and I still miss you loads.....
My Eulogy
In the 34 years of my life, I have known my mother to be nothing short of a great person. This I learned not just as her daughter, but also from what I have seen and heard from various people whose life she had an impact on. Ask anyone for a word that describes my mother, and you will get a whole list of compliments of her.
My mother was not a person of many words, nor was she very verbal in expressing her love, but it was shown in the little actions that she did in our daily lives.
In my early school days, she would see to it that uniforms and books were bought, parent-teacher sessions attended, ensured that my lunch box had been packed, test me on my spelling and assist with homework where she could.
When it came to the rebellious* secondary, JC and university days, she was a pretty cool mum who could actually hold a conversation with my friends. In that aspect, I suppose she made sure she knew who I was hanging out with and what kind of influence my friends had on me. If I was out past midnight, my phone, like an alarm clock would go off slightly before midnight, and she would say, “Your father wants to know where you are.” My father loved me and was just as concerned, but he too is not very verbal in his expressions of love. So what he did, was, he worked through my mum. So mum was always the “bad” person so to speak, having to call and interrupt the occasional late night out with friends. As the cliché goes, “You’ll never understand until you become a mother yourself.” You see, much as I may have detested the “Cinderella calls” in the past, I can just see myself doing the same thing with my kids, especially my daughter Kaitlyn.
Then I graduated, started work, got married and had my first child, Kieran. Mum, was exceptionally hands-on with Kieran, from doing the late night feeds with me when he was an infant, to sending him to and from school when he started Pre-N. Then 16 months later, I had my daughter Kaitlyn, just slightly after Mum was diagnosed. Despite the diagnosis, Mum continued to be a tremendous help when it came to the kids, keeping watch on them while allowing my husband Ronnie and I to go out on the weekly date nights we needed to preserve our sanity. She would also often remind us to try to attend mass despite the fact that it was an enormously challenging task with 2 kids who had different sleep patterns and could not sit still at mass. At times when we did not make it to mass, Mum would still make the effort to go on her own to pray for us. With the kids, she also made sure they said their bedtime prayers before going to bed.
As a wife, my mother has always been the pillar of strength for my father. She was a great example of someone who stood by her marriages vows: To be there for the person in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. When my dad had a brain haemorrhage and a mild stroke many years back, my mum was always there for him, taking him for his check-ups and ensuring that medication was taken as prescribed. Then when dad had difficulty driving, mum would ferry him around. She also had to take over the household affairs, which she did till the day she passed on. My father was often frustrated after his stroke and mum would often bear the brunt of his frustration. Sometimes I would ask mum how she could take it all so calmly, and she would simply reply, “It’s the illness. He was not always like that.” She would then patiently assist him with whatever he needed, and was always there for him 24/7. Mum was also a peace-loving person, which was a good thing as she often had to be the peace maker between myself and my dad. To quote my husband, “It’s amazing how your mother can endure both Dad’s and your ridiculous tantrums. If it were me, I would just leave you both to kill each other.”
Mum was also an exemplary daughter and sister-in-law. As reflected by my ko kos. My mother, as a newly-wed, very graciously stayed in the same house not only with her parents-in-law, but also with a grandmother-in-law and a grand-aunt, as well as 3 unmarried sisters-in-law, never once with an argument or a show of temper. Her relationship with her parents-in-law was always one of respect and love, loving them as her own parents.
Her ability to get on so well to six rather domineering sisters-in –laws is a real testament to her great generosity and unconditional love. To them she is the epitome of grace, patience and love. If anyone could just have a fraction of my mum’s graciousness and love for all, we will be very blessed.
Mum, I am so glad you got to journey the milestones in my life and that you got to see all your grand-children, We will miss you dearly but thank you for leaving behind for us such a great legacy of sacrificial and unconditional love, patience, generosity, peace-lovingness and a myriad other wonderful traits. You were a faith-filled person and we believe you are now in the safe hands of the Lord.
We will meet again someday. Until then, we love you and you will always remain in our hearts.
